is anything even worth it at all ? like every day i just wake up, eat my breakfast then i sit on the pc and stare at my screen, atp i dont even do anything "productive" anymore, i remember back when i was a teenager i could sit there for hours on end and atleast talk to friends and play a game or i could sit down and read but now my attention is so raped that i can only stare at the screen and watch youtube videos or whatever i cant even watch movies? sometimes i do play games but it just makes me unhappy or mad or like sad that im not as good at the games. i try drawing or making music but those suck as well i always compare myself to others and feel like im worthless and amount to nothing. my job also mainly consists of doing stuff on the computer and doesnt have any real value like someone who builds something or whatever. it just feels so disgusting my entire life and i hate it but i dont know how to break free from it. i look in the mirror and see someone i dont like, i dont recognise the girl in the mirror its just a husk that this thing that i call "myself" lives in ig? i thought after all these years of struggling and finding friends and trying to be happy with myself i would finally feel somewhat normal like all the other people i met in life but still my life just doesnt feel real at all and now im stuck here forever it sucks so much. suicide doesnt even feel like an option because what would it change? its honestly not like i am UNHAPPY particularly with everything its just that im indifferent about everything i think, i dont hate things so much that i would kill myself or do like a school shooting or something, its just whatever the entire world is whatever when will it not feel like whatever?? how come other people enjoy life? i tried building my life like other peoples lives because id think "ok if they are happy like that maybe i can be happy like that too and ive just been living wrongly for the last 18 years" but thats just not true and it still feels like theres literally nothing to live for. - can someone help me? like actually write me verycutekitten@svk.jp on how to get out of this i am desperate to talk to people feeling similarly to me

tracklist

1. can someone help me? like actually write me verycutekitten@svk.jp on how to get out of this i am desperate to talk to people feeling similarly to me (12:00:00)